


must be fate

by mullethyuck



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Asphyxiation, Blood and Gore, Confessions, Drowning, Knives, Love Letters, M/M, Manipulation, Murder, Obsessive Behavior, Self-Harm, Slasher, Stalking, Suicide, Unrequited Crush, Violence, Yandere, i didn't tag it because this ain't about them but like it's there, there's also a fair amount of luren in here fyi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:35:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27204620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mullethyuck/pseuds/mullethyuck
Summary: Renjun is pretty sure he's cursed. It's a good thing he has Jisung.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Park Jisung
Comments: 10
Kudos: 71
Collections: Challenge #2 — tricks; treats; and terrors





	must be fate

**Author's Note:**

> before we get into it i just wanna take a moment to give all my love to [rose](https://twitter.com/divinerenjun), who was not only a wonderful beta but also endlessly understanding and generally patient with me through this whole journey,, love you bby <3
> 
> please pay attention to the tags for this one!! stay safe <3
> 
> i got the title from a [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LpQArtCeXTk) but i also have [two](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6MRw1WzYBJgtM70PXUxUNm?si=dEsiKqQUR027j8VPLd9xag) [playlists](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/13ySWIfVEVBdRId6lqJDdl?si=4Ko-DKeqTIyRv2woSCaX7Q) i listened to on repeat while writing this, if you're into that :3

_Six years ago._

Jaemin said he’d be here an hour ago. Jaemin is never late. In fact, Jaemin is almost always annoyingly early.

So where is he?

Renjun charges downstairs, rolling his eyes and telling his mom that his best friend forgot about their plans again as he tugs his shoes on and tumbles out the door. She calls after him to be careful, but by then Renjun’s already on his bike and halfway down the driveway.

He’s turning onto Jaemin’s street when he sees it: Jaemin’s bike, lying in the road, surrounded by a sea of red. Jaemin is sprawled out in the middle of it, hair stained by the blood still oozing from the gash in his head.

Renjun cries. Jisung―Jaemin’s little brother―finds Renjun while he’s out looking for Jaemin, too. They both cry. One of the neighbours sees and calls 911. Jaemin’s death is deemed accidental; he fell off his bike, hit his head on a rock. A tragic blunder. They take him away in an ambulance even though he’s been dead for two hours by then. Renjun cries harder. Jisung hugs him tighter. Renjun’s mom has to pry them apart when she comes to take him home.

Renjun doesn’t see Jisung again till the funeral. After the service, which is confusing and overwhelming and awful and overall hard for Renjun’s twelve year old brain to process, they swap stories about Jaemin. Jisung shares some really embarrassing information that makes Renjun laugh, and Renjun tells Jisung where Jaemin hid all his favourite video games. It shouldn’t make Renjun feel better, talking about the dead behind his back, but Jaemin did always love his brother more than anyone else in the world. Maybe Renjun gets it, now.

Something changes between them, that day. Renjun thinks he’s found a new best friend.

* * *

_Three years ago._

“Hyuck?”

Renjun steps out onto the rooftop, calling his friend’s name again, cupping his hands around his mouth so it’s louder this time. It’s not unusual for Donghyuck to go missing―especially during chemistry―but it typically isn’t this hard to track him down. Humans are creatures of habit, and Donghyuck has a few select spots that he unfailingly returns to when he’s dodging the clutches of academia. The roof is his favourite. He always said he wished his old school would’ve had a proper rooftop.

Renjun calls his name again, tripping over something on the floor and nearly toppling over the edge in the process, catching himself on the railing. He looks down, squinting at the offending object, and realizes his ankle is tangled in the strap of Donghyuck’s bag. So he is here, then. Or he was.

Renjun scans the rooftop one more time, but there’s no sign of Donghyuck himself. Maybe he’s getting better at ditching Renjun, too. Renjun sighs, hand slipping off the rail as he turns to head back inside, but stops in his tracks when he catches a flash of red in his peripheral vision. He leans over the railing to get a better look, and he feels his stomach hit the ground 40 feet below as comprehension dawns on him.

There, splattered onto the sidewalk below, is Donghyuck. He’s barely recognizable between the distance and the damage from the force of impact, but Renjun would know that shock of purple-tipped hair anywhere. He sinks to his knees, hand moving up to cover his mouth to keep from screaming. Or vomiting. Or maybe both.

The metal door opens with a clang, and Renjun turns to see his best friend stepping out into the sun. “Sungie?” he calls, voice shaky.

Jisung looks like he’s been caught red-handed. “Oh, hey Junnie. I was just gonna skip one class, I swear.” He holds his hands up in a gesture of innocence. Renjun would normally be inclined to believe him, considering Jisung has never skipped class in his life, but Renjun has bigger problems right now. “What are you…” Jisung trails off after stepping forward to take in Renjun’s expression, concern etched on his features.

Renjun just points through the railing at the ground. “It’s Donghyuck,” is all he can say before he’s choking on a sob.

Jisung crouches down, pulling Renjun close so he can dry his tears on Jisung’s uniform shirt. “I’m so sorry, Junnie. I’m so sorry you had to see that.” He pets Renjun’s hair, fingers soothing as Renjun clings to him helplessly. He always feels so helpless.

They stay like that until a teacher finds them two hours later.

* * *

_One year ago._

Maybe Renjun is just cursed.

Jeno Lee is swim captain for a reason. He’s brilliant, and hard working, sure―but he’s also the most responsible junior in school. He’s punctual, and personable, and he’s willing to spend his free time studying with someone like Renjun when he has no real reason to. Also, he’s a really good swimmer.

So Renjun finds it just a little weird when Jeno fails to meet him at the front doors to walk home together, and he marches to the pool to scold Jeno for losing track of time (which is very unlike him, admittedly) and instead, sees Jeno floating face down in the water. Or well, he would probably find it weird that a nationally ranked swimmer mysteriously drowned if he wasn’t too busy dragging Jeno’s body to the side of the pool and giving his best attempt at CPR. It’s a valiant effort, but Jeno’s lips are already blue, veins spidery beneath his skin. He’s a lost cause.

Renjun sits there half drenched with Jeno’s head in his lap, tears streaming down his face―and he knows he should be calling an ambulance, but he can’t bring himself to leave Jeno, even if his phone is only a few feet away and Jeno is long gone, anyway. He runs a hand through Jeno’s stringy hair and hiccups.

Jisung walks out of the boys’ locker room then, startling as he takes in the scene before him. He rushes over to kneel beside Renjun, timid hand on Renjun’s shoulder as he asks what happened.

“Didn’t you see him?” Renjun says unsteadily.

Jisung makes a face that somehow reminds Renjun of a kicked puppy, and Renjun instantly feels terrible for accusing him of standing by idly while Jeno fought for his life. “No, I―I used the back door. I just got here.” Renjun glances down to the fabric in Jisung’s free hand, and frowns. He forgot his gym shorts again; that would explain what he’s doing here. Unlucky timing, is all. Renjun can’t exactly fault him for not showing up a few minutes sooner when he’s guilty of the same thing.

Renjun doesn’t care either way, really. He’s just glad Jisung is here now. “Can you call 911?”

Jisung nods, brow furrowing in concern as he dials the number and holds his phone up to his ear. He untangles Renjun’s hand from Jeno’s hair to hold it in his own, and gives Renjun a comforting smile even as he talks with the operator.

Renjun lays Jeno back onto the concrete and curls into Jisung’s side, burying his face in Jisung’s shoulder until the paramedics arrive.

* * *

_Six months ago._

Renjun walks into the art room and promptly drops his lunch tray with a _clack._

Hendery is sitting at his easel like always, half covered canvas set up in front of him, and the painting itself is a lot redder than Renjun remembers, but that’s not what catches his eye. The more pressing issue at hand is the exacto knife in Hendery’s right hand, and the resulting puddle of blood leaking from the jagged slits across both of his wrists.

Renjun rushes over, wrapping his hands around the lacerations in a feeble attempt to save his friend, but it only takes a moment for him to realize that there is no flow of blood, and Hendery is completely still, and there’s nothing Renjun can do about any of it.

He hates this. He thought the curse was bad enough, but this―this was no accident.

He stands there, unsure why this keeps happening and why he’s always too late, feeling utterly powerless, when there’s a knock on the door. Renjun turns, and Jisung is standing there in the doorjamb, staring at the scene in front of him.

“Sungie,” Renjun croaks out, and Jisung is by his side in an instant.

“It’ll be okay, Junnie,” he says as he pulls Renjun in for a hug, and somehow, Renjun believes him. It’ll be okay, as long as he has Jisung. He doesn’t need anyone else.

He vows not to let anyone get too close from now on.

* * *

_Three hours ago._

Lucas is perfect.

He’s always been perfect―perfect when he asked Renjun to prom, perfect when Renjun told him ever so apologetically that he needed time to think about it, perfect when Renjun accepted the invitation, thanks to Jisung.

(“Junnie, I’m your only friend,” he’d said sadly after Renjun explained his dilemma. “I know you’re scared, but you should give him a chance.”)

And Lucas is perfect even now, when he accepts the crown as prom king, which he won because he’s, well, perfect. He’s smiling under the glaring lights, slipping a sash over his head and bending down for the crown before moving to stand next to his best friend slash newly appointed prom queen, Yuqi Song. Cameras flash as they take pictures, and the next moment Lucas is standing in front of Renjun and asking him to do Lucas the honour of joining him for his coronation dance.

Renjun says yes, obviously.

“I’ve had a crush on you since freshman year, y’know,” Lucas says against the crown of Renjun’s head as they sway to the soft music floating through the air.

“You have?” Renjun asks Lucas’ chest.

He feels Lucas nod. “I never said anything because I know you think you’re cursed, or whatever.” He must sense Renjun opening his mouth to protest, because he shakes his head. “It’s okay, Little Huang. I just didn’t wanna freak you out, so I let you do your thing.”

Renjun moves back to look up at him. “Why now, then?”

Lucas rubs little circles over Renjun’s hips with his thumbs. “It’s senior year,” he says, and even in the multicoloured lighting, Renjun can see the pink on his cheeks. “I didn’t wanna lose you without even trying.”

The music cuts to something more upbeat, and they’re making their way off the dance floor before Renjun can respond. He thinks maybe Lucas didn’t want a reply, anyway. Lucas guides him with a hand on the small of his back, whispering that he just needs a bathroom break, he’ll be right back, and then his warm presence is gone from Renjun’s side.

Long after Renjun gets his fill of punch and small talk, and nearly everyone has filed out of the gym to their respective after parties and hookups, Lucas is still nowhere to be seen. It’s not like him to disappear, so Renjun heads to the bathroom to hunt him down. He has a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach, but he tells himself Lucas just ran into an old friend, got caught up in conversation, and lost track of time. It wouldn’t be surprising.

Except when Renjun steps through the swinging door, the bathroom is completely deserted.

It’s dead silent. One of the lights flickers overhead, and that’s when Renjun sees it: fabric, tied around the bar on top of the last stall. The satin shines in the fluorescence, and Renjun’s heart slides onto the tile floor. He opens the stall door anyway.

Lucas is there, hanging by his sash, eyes empty and unblinking. His feet are still on the floor, legs crumpled, thin fabric around his neck supporting all of his weight. Renjun can see the bruise blooming across his throat even from a foot away―can almost count the flecks of red peppered across his face.

Renjun feels like all the air has been punched from his lungs, in a twist of cruel irony. He drops to the floor, knees knocking painfully against the linoleum, and chokes on the realization that he was right; this curse is intentional.

No one comes to find him. He forces himself to his feet, meets Lucas’ dead eyes one last time, and runs.

* * *

_Present._

There’s a note sitting on the driver’s seat when Renjun finally makes it to his car.

He peers at it through the window, brows pulling together involuntarily. He clicks the button on the keys in his hand and yanks the door open, envelope fluttering on the seat with the breeze let in by the open door. He picks the note up gingerly, by the corner, like it’s delicate―or dangerous. His name is written in bubblegum pink glitter gel pen across the front, surrounded by cute little heart stickers and doodles. _A love letter?_

Renjun looks around, but there isn’t anyone else in the parking lot that he can see, aside from a few straggling police officers. He climbs into his car, shutting the door and sitting there in silence till the dim overhead light flickers out above him. He stares at the note in his hands for a moment longer, then rips it open unceremoniously and unfolds the paper inside.

 _YOU FAILED._ That’s all it says, in carefully constructed bubble letters, in the same sparkly ink as his name on the outside. Renjun has no idea what that means.

He looks up, and Jisung is standing right outside his window. Renjun has a minor heart attack before he processes who is staring back at him, and by the time his heart rate has leveled out, Jisung is pulling the other door open and sliding into the passenger side like it’s where he belongs.

“Love letter?” Jisung asks nonchalantly. Or maybe it’s just hollow.

Renjun can’t decide whether he should nod or shrug, so he does something in between. “I think so, but it doesn’t make any sense.”

Something flashes in Jisung’s eyes that Renjun has never seen before―something harsh, something unbridled. “You’re right, it doesn’t,” he says, punctuated by an exasperated sigh.

Renjun is even more lost. “Why does it sound like you know something I don’t?”

Jisung turns, and that awful something swirling behind his irises is even stronger now. He leans over the center console, crushing an old cup in the process, and moves so their faces are only inches apart, noses almost touching. “Did you even know there was a test?”

“Test?” Renjun parrots, dumbfounded.

Jisung nods. “There were two, actually.”

Renjun swallows thickly, eyes wandering down to the note in his hands. Now that he thinks about it, the handwriting looks eerily familiar. “Why’d I fail?” He isn’t sure he wants to know the answer, but it’s the only question he can think to ask.

Jisung pouts and sits back in his seat, eyes fixed on the entrance of the gym through the windshield. “I really thought you learned your lesson with Hendery,” he starts, voice flat. “But I had to make sure, y’know?” He glances at Renjun, who just blinks at him dumbly. “So I gave you one last test, one more chance to prove yourself. And what did you do?” His eyes meet Renjun’s in the rearview mirror, pinning Renjun in place. “You went to the dance with _him.”_

Renjun has a sudden epiphany. “Wait. This is about Lucas?”

Jisung laughs, and it sounds like it always does but it’s off, somehow. “No, Junnie. It’s about all of them.”

Unfortunately, Renjun’s curse is starting to make a lot more sense now. Maybe _this_ is the moment he has an epiphany. “It was you?”

Jisung blushes like Renjun has just asked if he’s ever been kissed, not whether he’s killed someone. “I had to.” He’s pouting again, lip quivering pitifully, and Renjun almost feels bad. “You weren’t paying enough attention to me.”

Renjun looks at him as neutrally as he can manage. “So is that what you want from me? Attention?”

Jisung shakes his head, pout disappearing to make way for a smile. “No. I want _you.”_

Renjun runs a hand down his face, keeping his voice as placating as possible. “Sungie, you know I can’t promise you that. I don’t―I’m not―You’re like my little brother. I’m sorry.” He sighs, bracing himself for the inevitable.

Jisung just sits there, frozen, for a solid minute before he reacts. Renjun thinks his ribcage might be too small for his lungs when Jisung says, “I’m sorry too.”

Jisung shifts, propping himself up on the center console with one elbow as he brings his other hand up to cup Renjun’s jaw. His touch is unbelievably light, just the barest brush of skin on skin, and Renjun decides he’ll let him have this. A goodbye kiss, or closure; nothing this tender could be bad.

Jisung doesn’t hesitate for even a moment; he guides Renjun’s lips to his with the softest bit of pressure, and the kiss is over almost before it begins. Not that Renjun would be able to tell the difference either way, considering the excruciating pain shooting out from his side.

He puts a hand over the source instinctively, and it comes away drenched in red. It’s only as Renjun holds his sticky hand up to examine the blood that he notices the knife in Jisung’s hand, covered in a matching river of red trickling down the blade.

“I love you so much, Junnie,” Jisung whispers against Renjun’s cheek, peppering kisses down his face to capture his lips one more time. “I can’t share you.” Renjun knows his fate is sealed even before Jisung drives the knife between his ribs again and again.

The last thing Renjun sees through the car door before he closes his eyes is Jisung leaving him for the first―and last―time.

**Author's Note:**

> fun fact jisung also killed mark but i had to cut that scene for length, which is a real shame because it was a good one (if you're curious, i posted it on twitter! you can read it [here](https://twitter.com/mullethyuck/status/1329123595243630599?s=21))
> 
> anyway i'm new to rensung nation let's be [moots](https://twitter.com/mullethyuck) :3


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